Enjoying Insecurity

I always try to keep my relations with people as simple as possible but they get most complicated as they can. Talking about relations is the relationship I share with friends. Friends can be categorized as good friends, best friends, formal friends, casual friends, long-distance friends, loving and caring friends, helpful friends, and last but not the least – the enemy kind of friends. All these categories are well described in the “Airtel” advertisement stating: “Har Ek Friend Zaruri / Kamina hota hai”. But there is one category of friends which is never described in any books or literature or stories and that is - “an insecure friend”. Well to describe an insecure friend is difficult, but I have tried to do so. Let me introduce this category of friend.

People have different views about insecure friends. They will never mind their own business and always will try to poke their nose in other people’s affairs. Many of you may be having that one insecure friend, which will always appear like untimely rains. Insecure friends are highly irritating and frustrating, sometimes even impossible to bear. They will try to advise us on our personal issues, even when their views are even not welcomed. They try to be over caring and treat us as neophytes. They interfere in all our small day-to-day activities and annoy us for foolish reasons. They get angry with you for small issues and you spend a considerable amount of your time consoling them and yourself for the things which are not even bothering you.

Well, yes I do have an insecure friend and maybe he will be the first reviewer of this article to censor some of my comments about him. It has been over two years since we are together and have developed a strong bonding between us. My day starts and ends with him. Life is easy going along with him. I have developed a lot of emotional attachment with my pal. Both of us care for each other and try to cater to each other’s needs. He is caring, loving, and helpful, but too extreme in his display of care, love, and help.

Yeah, he is highly insecure about me. He will mind all my day-to-day actions and will comment on them, even though it’s not required. In India, advise is the only thing which we get for free and that’s why psychiatrists are not doing well over here because every friend of yours is a psychiatrist. Every day we will fight with each other over stupid issues, which are not even important come to think of it in today’s busy life. Well, he will scan my mobile phones, my internet chats, my messages, and all my minute details. He dislikes me talking to other girls and even boys. I know second thoughts will come to your mind after reading this, but he is straight. This is the reason for the daily fights which take place between me and him. Sometimes I get really pissed off and want to end the relationship with him. He transforms himself like a mosquito, which will make that irritating sound when you are in deep sleep. I had tried to shut down all my doors which take me towards him, but somewhere that small keyhole is always opened from which the mosquito enters my life.

As time passes, we human beings develop a habit of unwanted things in our life as we have no choice to avoid them. For example, those staying close to the railway tracks will never get sound sleep until they hear the train bugle, or a chain smoker after developing Asthma will hardly quit smoking. Like that, I have developed this irritation as a part of my life and now I can’t live without it. Frankly speaking, I have started loving his insecurity. It’s fun to see his face when I am talking to a beautiful girl. I can smell some smoke then. His over conscious nature about me now really makes me feel good about him. I think I am very lucky to have a friend like him who makes my life more colorful. As it is said: “you fight with only those whom you love”. Understanding his insecurity now, I know that it’s his love and affection towards me. My relationship with him has reached a level that we don’t need words to communicate the message between us. It’s now done with our eyes. It is said that the face and eyes always communicate better than the mouth. I can always feel the vibes from him and understand his mental condition, and so does he. His high level of insecurity is just like tiny specks of dirt lodged under the nails of our fingers. I however concentrate on seeing the brighter side of the moon where he’s concerned. I got to learn many things in my life from him, which I would not have even learned by myself or from my parents. He is an acting father to me. An insecure father of a spoiled brat. 

Actually, insecurity or over possessiveness can be channelized properly for the success of both. The advantage of having an insecure friend is that he will never cheat you and will always make an effort to rectify you when you are walking on the wrong path. He protects me from negative people and advises me over critical issues.

Now it’s time to say goodbye to him. I know it’s difficult for both of us. As the due date is coming closer, he has reached the height of his insecurity. He does not want to lose me, neither do I. I have developed a habit of enjoying his insecurity and I am fine with it. Only God knows whether, in the remainder of my life, I will be able to get a friend like him. The world is dynamic and change is the ultimate truth. So the time is changing and has its own boundaries. We just play our roles. I will truly miss him, as the void which he will create in my life may hardly be filled by someone else.

That’s why

sometimes you should try loving your insecure friends because they are the ones who really care for you and give you the ultimate pleasure of life, that’s “Tension”. Ha Ha Ha.

- Dr. Dhananjay Patel