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Are you in Love?

To love or have loved, that is enough. Ask nothing further. There is no other pearl to be found in the dark folds of life.

~Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

Love is such a pure feeling. It's the sudden rush of dopamine in our system which pumps our heart a little more and makes us believe in all the cheesy filmy dialogues delivered by Shahrukh khan.

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Even we start hearing the violin tunes in our head when that special person enters the room or comes near us. The feeling of love is different for different person and with every person, it has a new definition to it. The love we have for our parents is totally different feeling from the love we have for our siblings or our friends. The love we feel towards our partner will be different from the love we have for our ideal in life. The love we have for our dream job will be different from the one we had to do for survival. What I am trying to say that love has so many layers. You see love is a Shashi Tharoor's book with complicated articulation of words, page by page but the meaning of it is simple and basic that we have learned growing up. We have confused ourselves with love to adjust, whereas love never asks you to adjust or sacrifice to a point where there is nothing left of you.

Love makes us believe in all the illogical ideas just to please that one person. We do things that will make the person happy or we sometimes try to be things that they wish us to be and we enjoy it too. It is true that love is giving in nature. We go an extra mile for that person we love. We never hesitate to become something for the person we're in love . We have been told that you compromise here and there and sacrifice a bit for the person you are in love with, isn't it? It starts with small things like you doing the chores today or just you paying the bills or maybe it's just you in the relationship who's saying sorry. These are the small compromises you're doing initially to avoid conflicts with the person you're in love, right?

But what if these small things get magnify into big life-changing adjustments and sacrifices, then are you willing to be in love? That's the question I want all of us to ask. Are we ready to be the only one who is compromising in every step of the relationship? The relationship shouldn't be necessarily romantic or with your partner, it can be with your friend or your sibling or with your parents.

When you are always bending according to the nature of your loved ones then, the day is not far enough where you will not be able to find your own spine. And with this, I am not trying to imply that you talk back or argue at every point of your relationship. Neither I am saying that you should be the upper hand in the relationship or be the alpha so that no one argues with you and you do what you wish everytime.NO! I am saying that don't forget yourself while being in that relationship. Don't stop loving yourself. Don't forget that how important you are, how important your feelings are, and respect them. Don't forget that a relationship is a partnership between two people where they both make little adjustments to keep the partnership going. Love is giving in nature but my friend it is a two-way street. Ranbir Kapoor may have said that "Ek tarafa pyaar ki taakat kuch aur hoti hai" but that was in the movie which lasted for 2 hours and then the reality happens. Its the same cliché as violin tunes in the background from Hindi cinema. In real life, you got to love yourself first to love the other person.

Love also play an important role in your career, sometimes you don't realize it but your brain will follow those career paths where your heart has always been. It is for us to understand that where we stand with our choices. The one who follow their passion with all their heart and hard work lead to a successful and happy life because whatever they're doing they're enjoying it too and want to be better at it. But the one who is compromising in their job and doing it just for the sake of money and survival, for them it will soon become a tedious job where their eyes are always on the clock, waiting for their torture to end. As result, they are not happy at work which results in frustration in their personal life which comes to a breaking point in their mental health. So, the question arises where it all started? It all started with choosing and doing a job where their heart wasn't with them. So when someone asks me is it important for you to love your job, I say make sure you're not doing it just for the sake of money because, in the long run, you will get frustrated. Take your time to choose the path you want to lead in your life. Let your passion bloom into your career and make money out of it. Remember what Farhan said in 3 idiots "Mujhe nahi samajh aati engineering, ban bhi gaya toh bahut karab engineer banunga abba". Things may take time to build what you've imagined for yourself but you don't give up, you keep the passion in you alive and work hard every day.

In the end, I would just like to remind you - "You have to respect your own opinion, choices and have to stand by it. You got to have faith and expectation in you so that you can lead your life in your own way. Spend some alone time with yourself, enjoy your own company first to enjoy it with others. Always keep the love and empathy in your heart. Always go the extra mile in love and do the same for yourself too. You may have to sacrifice sometimes but see that you are not the only one doing it. Love should not feel like you are getting confined in it. It should be a feeling that sets you free and let you BREATHE".

- Taheera Ahmed


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